Moose on the Table
Published By Todd Lucier on April 3rd, 2003 in Compass Connections
I was speaking with someone today about fire walking. It’s interesting the things I have absolutely no fear of, while other things can be extremely frightening. Fire walking…. No problem. Clearing a disagreement with someone….. that can be downright scary.
It is difficult to have a dinner conversation with a moose on the table, but that is exactly what happens when an unaddressed issue arises between dinner guests whether attending a family dinner or business lunch. All my thoughts and feelings become shaped by the unacknowledged moose.
Sometimes I try to pretend that the moose isn’t there, and the more time that passes before the issue gets dealt with the bigger and more intrusive the moose will get. He’ll start running around the room crashing into walls, breaking furniture in an attempt to get noticed.
Sometimes I ignore the destructive force of the moose, when all that is required most often is to open the door to letting the moose outside. This is most easily addressed by speaking about the issue directly. Don’t wait until desert, enjoy the whole meal by getting to the point. What’s wrong- What is the real core issue that needs to be addressed? Moose destroying house. What will make things right? Open the door.
Most of the time, my dinner guest and I are relieved when the issue finally gets addressed, because it may either be an unknown issue, or something that has been nagging at them as well. Most of the time addressing the issue of the moose in the room, will reveal that there is also a water buffalo roaming in the kitchen. Only when opening the door to let the moose out, does the water buffalo make its presence known, stampeding towards the door. What a mess that can cause if the two wild beasts try to get out at the same time or worse start chasing one another around the room. What might happen is they get stuck in the door together and never leave.
The best thing to do in this case is let the water buffalo out of the room first. Address the needs of this animal by putting the moose in a spare room, with the agreement of my guest to let the moose out as soon as the water buffalo is taken care of. I sometimes find, that the water buffalo was there first. By listening to my dinner guests concern I address the need to enhance our relationship. Instead of feeling challenged in my position, try to understand the deeper need of the dinner guest and find ways of meeting them.
Once the water buffalo leaves the room, it is much easier to coax the moose onto the porch and have the dining room back.
Remember, when dealing with large beasts, they’ll cause more destruction over time, best to open the door as soon as possible.
Just think about it: What large beasts are roaming in your world?
Just do it:What small thing can you do to stop the destruction?