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Published By Gwenith Kikkawa on August 3rd, 2004 in Circle Stories From The Heart
Recently I made a decision, after experiencing stress that I haven’t felt in quite sometime. The last time I remember feeling such stress in my body, and mind was when I was working on my university degree, with 2-year old twins at home. My life at that time was very fast moving, and I constantly felt as though there wasn’t enough time for myself, my family, nor my work.
I have done a great deal of work in the last 11 years to bring myself into better balance. I’ve learned to “slow down to the pace of creation” from Tom Brown Jr. I’ve learned to listen to my inner voice from the work I have done with The Woman Within programs. I have learned to ask for guidance from my helping spirit’s in my shamanic work.
Lately I have felt tested as to how well I can balance myself in the midst of personal or other’s crisis. My stress level rose as I became very testy, closed and exhausted. Feeling the familiar tearing in the pit of my stomach, I focussed on nurturing myself. I booked myself a massage, got my haircut and went on a personal artist date, and took a few days just to relax.
I have learned all too well the importance of listening and taking action on what is most important in my life. The decision I have come to is that although I am a fantastic organiser, and manager, I know that I must let go of the menial tasks of running a retreat centre. I need to do this to allow myself the space and time that I need to share the work I am meant to share. What I am most passionate about is my shamanic healing practice, and facilitating experiences for groups to help participants connect with their own authentic self. In order to be the best that I can be at this, I must let go of other tasks that take me away from my personal mission.
I know that when I am true to myself things tend to fall into place. As soon as I made that committment to myself the phone started to ring with people looking for shamanic healing. Interest in our shamanic and women’s programs suddenly grew as well. Other healers and body workers started to ask me about teaching various shamanic healing techniques. As well, other staff willingly expressed an interest in taking on the things that I have held onto as my responsibilities. It is hard work, however as we grow here at the Edge, I know I must let go, an trust all will be taken care of. As I step out and fully expose myself and my gifts, the Spirits truly lead the way and open the doors.
So, if you happen to come to the Edge, I invite you to ask me how the shamanic practice and teaching is going. Ask me a question about shamanism, and I’ll gladly sit by the water’s edge with you, and share the work of my soul.
May the gardens in your life bring you much joy and peace. Martha
“It’s not what we do, but who we become that changes the world.”
~ Sandra Ingerman, Medicine for the Earth