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Published By Gwenith Kikkawa on November 24th, 2005 in Circle Stories From The Heart
Sometimes I get a feeling in my gut that won’t go away. Usually it is triggered by something someone says or a choice someone makes that affects me. Deep within my gut is a feeling, an emotion that gets triggered. It sneaks up on me, just as winter sneaks up, cold and harsh.
I feel I am here to help release and transform this energy, emotions, pain that my ancestors carried. What are ancestral wounds? Who has them? Who doesn‘t? Do we all carry them, like old baggage? How do we release them, transform them, honour them? What do we do with them?
Sometimes it can be painful and difficult work. Sometimes I lack the energy that is needed. Sometimes I just don’t care anymore.
Yet this voice deep within says “you must do this for the children…. for the survival of humanity”.
Lately I have been thinking of women in my life. I have thought of how many of them felt they didn’t have choices. How many of them put aside their own dreams and desires to do what needed to be done to feed the children, tend the fires of the hearth. As they tended these fires, their own fire deep within them slowly burned away. They forgot about their magic: their gifts.
It is a difficult balance, tending fires of the home and the fire within. It is difficult to tend to the fires within when the outside world doesn’t honour them. The earth, and all of humanity desperately needs the voice and ways of the feminine at this time.
Hesitantly I go into my cave. Not this again…. I close the door, and begin a fire that will warm my bones. As I tend to the fire, my guts begin to speak. Listen…. They gurgle and bubble, and the now that I listen, the pain begins to dull. They soften as I hear the words I need to hear.
I listen as I tend the fire, and the fire within begins to burn once again. It grows, and crackles and I am once again reminded of the beauty of life that surrounds me. I am grateful that I have tasted my tears, and am ready now to depart my cave. Once again renewed, and full…. Ready to share my gifts once again.
“It’s not what we do, but who we become that changes the world.”
~ Sandra Ingerman, Medicine for the Earth