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Published By Gwenith Kikkawa on December 9th, 2005 in Circle Stories From The Heart
This past week, on Dec. 6th I attended a Vigil to Commemorate the 16th Anniversary of the Montreal Massacre for the young women who were killed at Ecole Poly Technique in Montreal, Quebec. December 6th is a Canadian National Day of Remembrance on Violence Against Women.
I sat and listened as several women got up to speak after a candle was lit for each young woman that was gunned down. There were women representing the local women’s center, women who work directly with physically abused women, and even a woman politician representing the NDP who got up to speak.
Most of what I heard from the other women who spoke was about our need to change community, rules, laws, equality, the violence that happens to women, and that women’s issues fall on deaf ears by our government. What I was hearing was that change was something that was going to come from focusing outwardly, on rules, regulations and policies.
As I listened, my stomach began to get tight, and I felt the familiar butterflies begin to swim inside of me, urging me to speak. What would I have to say that would be relevant to this ceremony? I waited, until I could no longer contain the energy that grew within me. My whole body began to shake, saying to me “this is your chance to speak”. I reluctantly got up and walked to the front of the café, facing the gathering of people who were attending.
I began speaking by sharing a quote…. “How might your life have been different if there was a place for you…A place for you to go, a place of women…. a place where you were nurtured by an ancient flow sustaining you and steadying you as you sought to become yourself….How might your life be different”? (Circle of Stones by Judith Duerk)
When I first heard this quote 12 years ago I was attending a “Woman Within Weekend” (www.womanwithin.org) What I was seeking at that time was a circle of women where I felt accepted for who I was, supported as I discovered my gifts and encouraged to follow my dreams. What I received on that weekend was much more as I also had the opportunity to dig deep and connect with and heal what was keeping me from embracing and sharing my gifts, following my dreams, and speaking my truth.
As I shared this quote the shaking grew worse! I crossed my hands behind me, so that they wouldn’t be visible as I was a bit embarrassed. I began to share that from my perspective it is vitally important that women begin to dig. If women wish make change outwardly in our communities it is also vitally important to consider what needs to be changed inwardly. What thoughts, attitudes or beliefs do we hold that need changing? What ancestral wounds passed on through the generations need healing so that we don’t pass these wounds onto our children and grandchildren?
After I finished speaking and sat down, the shaking took quite some time to stop. In reflection, I felt I was being pushed to go outside of my comfort zone and speak on behalf of the Sacred Feminine. It is time for the Sacred Feminine to be honoured once again bringing balance back into the world. The Sacred Feminine lives within each of us, women and men and we can access her ancient voice by digging deep.
“It’s not what we do, but who we become that changes the world.”
~ Sandra Ingerman, Medicine for the Earth