Dreaming Myself Into Being
Published By Debbie Hope, Circle Member on December 31st, 2020 in Circle Stories From The Heart
“My Reflection” by Debbie Hope
I am a spiritual warrior.
My battles are many.
My battles are with myself.
As I grow, I leave behind…worry, lostness, failure, guilt, shame, old habits and patterns that I have created.
The dream weaver has woven the colored threads in my life in a way that I can see and feel the patterns. She is so creative, she shows me that patterns can change.
As I work from higher energies I can weave new patterns. I am grateful to meet this creative weaver. My true self.
I am grateful for everyone in my life, past and present. I am not afraid to love whatever crosses my path. I am grateful to move forward with a quiet, compassionate, strength that is me.
I see symbolism in everything.
The fox is my guide.
She shows me to not be afraid to be myself, be my embarrassments, be my follies. She shows me that I can laugh at myself.
I am grateful for being called to the Edge, for it is through this magical channel that the real me feels safe enough to emerge and explore.
I read Tim Lucier’s Daring to Dream with much interest. I loved his reference to the “Edgy Tradition”.
I was so inspired that I started painting-but what? I didn’t know. It just evolved.
I am not good at painting human faces, I traditionally hide them in the shadows. But low and behold a face emerged. Not bad, I thought, but what can I do with this face?
I love symbolism and decided to paint things that meant something to me. A rarity to paint something for myself. As I painted into 2021 I realized this is what I am feeling now. This is Living my dream.
A quick note here, I have, for the last 6 years, been painting 12 paintings a year to put on the next year’s calendar. I paint pretty much what I think people want to see, mostly horses. 2021’s calendar was all meditations I have had throughout the year. Hesitantly I painted them as I saw them. My best paintings ever. I was nervous, would they like and appreciate this side of me that has remained hidden?
The feedback was amazing. Now I realize I have just given myself permission to be myself.
Debbie is known by many of our community members for her beautiful paintings on rocks that offer an inner reflection to those she gifts them to.
Debbie shares: “When I gather rocks I am consumed by the beach, the noise of the waves, wind, waterbirds. Consumed by the rocks as I walk along. A rock will reveal itself to me and I will stare at it a while. As I stare I think I am asking for the rocks permission to gift it to another and ask what might be the message. I then carry it in my hand turning it over and over listening to the message it might have. Sometimes I let them fall back on to the beach as the rock does not wish to be a gift.
If you look into an aspect of nature like looking into a mirror, what reflection might you see, feel, hear, taste, smell?” What might it be like to work specifically with the spirit of rock? Going into nature, ask for a rock to reveal itself to you, perhaps even beneath the snow. As you engage with the selected rock, allow yourself to appreciate it and be drawn into it. Afterward, you can journal about your experience, or even creatively draw or paint your experience on the rock as Debbie has done.
About Debbie Hope
My name is Debbie Hope, I live in West Lorne, Ontario. I live in a beautiful apartment above the livestock feed store that I own, with my roommate Lisa, a dog named Wylie and cat named Boo.
Buying the feed store was one of the scariest things that I have ever done. Being a single woman presented many challenges, but I did it. I have been working there for 22 years and have owned it for 4 years now.
I have been deeply involved with horses most of my life and very much focused on natural horsemanship. I have owned my own riding and boarding stable and have been an equine emergency first aid instructor.
I’ve worked on a dairy farm, worked ground, owned my own cattle, some sheep, chickens, ducks and turkeys and raised a fawn.
I love the outdoors and I am looking to move out of the apartment and get back to trees and a fire pit.
Delving deeper into spirit I am grateful for finding the Edge. I love the family of souls who live, work and visit there. They have opened a whole world for me to explore what has been inside all this time.