Making Peace, By Kevin Alexander

Making Peace, by Kevin Alexander (CCSS Collective Member)

 

Let me introduce you to my dragon. His name is Cliffron. He has bright green scales that flicker when he moves. He has patches of silver on his back and fluorescent orange fins. 

Cliffron can fly and he can blow fire, but his most potent medicine are his teeth. Cliffrons teeth are made from the regrets of my past that I carry around with me. They are white and extremely sharp. 

Cliffron has always followed behind me, ensuring I move forward. His sharp teeth chomp at me every time I slow down. He chases me, just as my regrets haunt me. 

I recently faced Cliffron for the first time; that was an ordeal. Let me fill you in on my Dragon taming night. 

It was a regular Sunday night. I was resting and puttering around the house, not doing much, when I felt a pinch in my stomach. Off to the porcelain throne to “make peace” as we say in our house. 

I came out feeling a little lighter, a little better, a little unfinished. 

I went back to my Sunday wandering but, in a hour or so, I felt another pinch in my stomach, then another… I was familiar with these pinches having had a sensitive stomach most of my life. These same feeling would keep me from sleeping, wondering and worrying.

I, once again, allowed my system to clean and clear itself with peace. I drank plenty of water and did my best to stay calm. My body knows best. I committed to supporting it in its time of need. 

All seemed to pass and be well until the evening fell. I remember coming in from watching the stars, they were on fire that night. I felt another pinch, but this time it grew to a full on belly punch. I was taken back and rushed to my peace room. 

I was perched on my throne for a while when the cold sweats came rushing over me. I needed solid ground, I needed cool ground, I needed to let go of my muscles and put myself down. 

As I lay on the ground, cooling down, sweating and getting worried about loosing consciousness, I saw something move in the shower curtain. Maybe it was the detox my body was drowning in, maybe it was the shadow mixed with the sweat in my eyes, but I saw something move. 

I tried to find the source of the movement but I was not able to lift my head. I was just allowing my body to process when I heard the furnace kick on. The vent for the bathroom was pointed right at my belly. I was going from the cool floor to the heat of the dragon breath on my belly. 

That is when I met Cliffron. He came to me, as he had many times in the past, but this time I could not ignore him by running away. He was present and commanded my attention. My belly had been bitten with the sharp teeth of regret and I was wounded on the battlefield.

I could no longer run.

The dragon I had feared my entire life, the carrier of my regrets of my life, had commanded that I face him. I was weak and scared but those are no excuses for the dragon tamer that I have been training to be.

I pulled myself to my feet, swayed in the nausea, and said, “I see you. I am not running anymore. I see you. I will love you.”

Almost instantly the sweats stopped, my energy came back to me, my stomach stopped turning. Finally I had faced the dragon, I had stopped running, I stood up and claimed back my power. 

Then something happened that I really did not expect. Cliffron and I shared openly, like two old buddies having a beer. 

He told me he no longer wanted to run after me. He was tired. He wanted to blaze a path ahead of me and make my life easier, he was tired of biting me and trying to catch me with his teeth.

I asked what could we do with these teeth of regret. He told me, “Regret is only dangerous if it is behind you. If you face the regrets, they turn into lessons that can lead you.”

So I agreed to let go of my regrets, let go of whatever I think I owe others from my past and allow Cliffron to take the lead. 

When I got out of the bathroom, I was a new man. I was light, and happy and a little tired.

Cliffron is in front of me now. He blazes a path to make my life easier. It has only been a few weeks, but I see that Cliffron is showing me the lessons I have learned in my life and he is helping me break down obstacles with his sharp teeth. We are working together, building a future of peace. 

I choose to learn from my past missteps, and not hide from them, hold onto them and be indebted by them. 

I faced a huge dragon. I was never there to slay it, I was there to learn how to work with it, how to love it, how to build a bond with it. This is my master lesson in dragon taming. Befriend a dragon, give it honour, respect and talk to it. 

***

Home practice:

Ask your heart to reveal or connect you to a dragon that has a lesson of peace to gift you with. 

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